Entertainment News Not Involving Tara Reid's Boobs

Lets face it, celebrity boobs get a lot of attention. Poor Lohan. She didn't get any press until she started shaking her cans around. And she was so adorable in The Parent Trap. However, there are more pressing issues to discuss. Sorry kids.

American Idol. Yea. I watch it. You got a problem with that? But, you may ask, isn't it annoying that they insist on singing the same songs every season, or, if not the same songs, a variation of songs that sound the same? Isn't it sad that you actually have to hear Gloria Estefan's "Turning The Beat Around" more than once in your lifetime and the majority of those times come from this show? Isn't Ryan Seacrest kind of a tool even if he is an adorable tool with bleached blonde hair and a good spray on tan? Don't the people who win release some of the suckiest music, that or which makes your ears bleed, because they've sold their soul to the producers?
Yes.
But I still love it. And sometimes, when no one is watching, I get a little teary eyed when someone gets kicked off of the show and left only with a part time job as a clerk at Blockbuster and whatever is left of their broken dreams. And I get a little emotional when the winner of the competition is singing through his/her sobs, choking out the last notes of their song, even though I know that the only thing waiting for them is a lifetime of Diane Warren ballads and appearances on ABC Holiday Specials while they silently wish that they could sing something that actually meant something to them and was able to move them and touch their audience in a way that Diane Warren cannot.
Or not, I don't know.
Anyway, this season I have three favorites. But the one that really has me pulling for her is Michaela Gordon. Everyone else thinks her voice grates and she's coasting on her personality. But I kind of like her voice. It's different and it may not always have the perfect pitch, or be "pleasant" by most standards. But if you think about it, some of the most beloved artists have had distinct voices that weren't at all "perfect". Bob Dylan comes to mind even though I've always liked his voice. Same with Janis Joplin. They had unconventiaonal, non cookie cutter voices.
Or maybe her voice really does grate and something is just wrong with my ears. But she reminds me of Fran Drescher so she has my vote.


Michelle Trachtenburg of "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" and "Harriet the Spy" fame is starring in the new movie "Ice Princess," obviously about figure skating. Given my fascination with figure skating and old Nickelodeon, I want to see it even though it looks like something fit for one of those "achieve your dreams" themed Disney Channel movies. Now, if Danny Tamberelli was starring in a movie, THAT, would be news.
I miss those Nick kids. Frequently, throughout my life I stop and wonder how and what Donkeylips is doing these days. Or Furgeson. I see Malissa Joan Hart mugging up on Celebrity Poker and what not. But Furgeson? For the love of God, he could be doing porn for all I know. And that would be really sad. Because those shows were a part of my childhood. And Nick shows today cannot compare.
For example: I'm fully convinced that "Doug" is the greatest cartoon or all time. You cannot change my mind. To me, it surpasses all others. Does "Spongebob" have "Quail Man?" Does "Rocket Power" have "The Beets?" Oh hell no. And the Honkerburger kicks the Crabby Patty's proverbial ass. Doug was an icon. He was a balding junior high kid who wasn't afraid to be sensitive and write in his journal every night. He was the ever faithful friend to a large blue kid who's full name was "Mosquito." And he loved Patty Mayonaisse with all his heart. I know a good number of people, myself included, who can still sing "Patty, You're the Mayonaisse For Me" in its entireity.
I would give my left kidney to see "Hey Dude" and "Are You Afraid of the Dark" on Nick at Nite. It's not like we need another channel to show "Full House" and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."